Saturday, December 17, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
i hate it...
i feel the hate, i feel the pride,i feel the tention, i feel the hurt, i feel the fear..so many emotions combined
at times i wonder whats wrong with me ..like i cant even put in words all the emotions that run me pass eachother inside me all at once..
i for some reason miss the good chances i have infront of me nd life nd lay back like fck it... but inside its hurting & i cant believe im letting it go
pride is okay when it comes to a past lover who wasnt worth it ,jus saying in general..but pride is not okay when it comes to school,your father or a person whos truely cares & is there for you...
So im 20 shud be 21 in a few months ..nd yes im STILL in highschool..yes i've had my problems & downfalls but who doesn't ..i hate people who make themselves the victum of something that has NO excuse!..cause when u wanna get somewhere you do it no matter what !..so i aint even gon sit nd act like oh im goin thru sumthin so thts y im not goin..I just happen to not be motivated at all..i find it sad to think i cant even find (ME) as a reason to go on!my attitude is always simply fck it...nd i let it go knowing the oppurtunity is still there..idk why but i just do..
i STILL dont talk to my father , its like i dont wanna hold a grudge with him..but neither do i wanna talk to him unless he's learned his lesson..more than anything i wanna prove to him that i can make it..i wanna be like u see dad i made it & without chu ! ..since the years past i lost the man i truely loved..my father changed so much hangin out on the streets nd with his woman..EVERYTHING changed..his whole personality changed, i found him to become a very 2 faced /person nd a snitch..thats not who he was nd even me & my mother speak about it ..i cant believe how everything turned out...
i hold in some much hurt, so much anger..nd at times i dnt know how to act..i feel at times i cant control it..i get ticked off ,off lil things..i try not to..& i wanna go ack to church..i mustve been made to be gods child cause even in a club i dnt really be into it..i just dnt seem to like it..i never been the kind of gurl to like liquor,or none of that..always loved church for some reason..always been a bright polite innocent girl..always hated a guy to touch me...i always wanted to make my father proud so much to the point i was willing to become a nun just so i wudnt be with any guy cause i knew my dad nd wat he wanted...
is alot goin on nd alot more to come but god dont give us what we cant handel
..nd someway somehow u gotta do what you gotta do..nuttin good in life comes easy..so its sed..........
GOD IS LOVE - RevRun : )
at times i wonder whats wrong with me ..like i cant even put in words all the emotions that run me pass eachother inside me all at once..
i for some reason miss the good chances i have infront of me nd life nd lay back like fck it... but inside its hurting & i cant believe im letting it go
pride is okay when it comes to a past lover who wasnt worth it ,jus saying in general..but pride is not okay when it comes to school,your father or a person whos truely cares & is there for you...
So im 20 shud be 21 in a few months ..nd yes im STILL in highschool..yes i've had my problems & downfalls but who doesn't ..i hate people who make themselves the victum of something that has NO excuse!..cause when u wanna get somewhere you do it no matter what !..so i aint even gon sit nd act like oh im goin thru sumthin so thts y im not goin..I just happen to not be motivated at all..i find it sad to think i cant even find (ME) as a reason to go on!my attitude is always simply fck it...nd i let it go knowing the oppurtunity is still there..idk why but i just do..
i STILL dont talk to my father , its like i dont wanna hold a grudge with him..but neither do i wanna talk to him unless he's learned his lesson..more than anything i wanna prove to him that i can make it..i wanna be like u see dad i made it & without chu ! ..since the years past i lost the man i truely loved..my father changed so much hangin out on the streets nd with his woman..EVERYTHING changed..his whole personality changed, i found him to become a very 2 faced /person nd a snitch..thats not who he was nd even me & my mother speak about it ..i cant believe how everything turned out...
i hold in some much hurt, so much anger..nd at times i dnt know how to act..i feel at times i cant control it..i get ticked off ,off lil things..i try not to..& i wanna go ack to church..i mustve been made to be gods child cause even in a club i dnt really be into it..i just dnt seem to like it..i never been the kind of gurl to like liquor,or none of that..always loved church for some reason..always been a bright polite innocent girl..always hated a guy to touch me...i always wanted to make my father proud so much to the point i was willing to become a nun just so i wudnt be with any guy cause i knew my dad nd wat he wanted...
is alot goin on nd alot more to come but god dont give us what we cant handel
..nd someway somehow u gotta do what you gotta do..nuttin good in life comes easy..so its sed..........
GOD IS LOVE - RevRun : )
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Dear Blogger,
YES its been a whilee, ive been slackinn..but ive also been stressed with alot of things.. the sittuation w/ the pops,no job..nd other personal things i rather not share on here nd one of my niggas died..shit hit like a brick straight to the chest
im alil bit betta now..i think...& i got a bf, yes im commited now , felt werid at first cus i dnt really do relationships,but yea here am with a great boyfriend so far..lol i hate to always had in the "so far" but like he seds u neva know wat to expect..but to me it's more like u noe wat to expect u just hope its not the same expectations u happen to be right abt due to the past niggas..i aint gon lie..so far hes lead me to NO douts abt him..i feel like i can trust him..for now atleast..i hope none of us eva fall in that situation of cheating EVA! this thing we have feel sooo right , right now..i cudn't have planned it any better myself..2.26.11 : )
LadyLaviSh_ `& Raybop : )
im alil bit betta now..i think...& i got a bf, yes im commited now , felt werid at first cus i dnt really do relationships,but yea here am with a great boyfriend so far..lol i hate to always had in the "so far" but like he seds u neva know wat to expect..but to me it's more like u noe wat to expect u just hope its not the same expectations u happen to be right abt due to the past niggas..i aint gon lie..so far hes lead me to NO douts abt him..i feel like i can trust him..for now atleast..i hope none of us eva fall in that situation of cheating EVA! this thing we have feel sooo right , right now..i cudn't have planned it any better myself..2.26.11 : )
LadyLaviSh_ `& Raybop : )
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Just imagine. . .
Just imagine , if things didn't occur ..what if it wudve took alittle longer ..crushing on you was the fun part cause ur wanting nd striving for what you want , don't get me wrong ..what's going on right now is even better ..wen you hold me ..I say in my mind ..is this really happening ..neva thought it would actually happen..not that it wudnt happen but its actually happening ..lol if tht makes any sence ..lol
I don't know how to explain that feeling wen ur hands touch mine ..nd when u hold tightly ..its something I feel in my gut ..its a good thing though ..lol ..before anything the flows thing is what I was doing ..with those guys it neva started off with a friend thing ..it was straight let's talk "like that." So the beauty of this was just the focus we had on music ..& how cool u was" ..Always had "options" to see who fit that place of being with me ..I was up to like 3 niggas nd feeling u ..I lost focus on them .. Wen it came down to one I was dying for an excuse to just drop him (lmao) he wud just ask me out nd I wud change the subject .. Lol ..idk where these feelings came from but I guess the attraction was just there .. Wen it comes to you ..I don't think abt having any options..I just can't do it with you .. I feel as if I'm already commited to you in some werid way.. I've gotton into the habit in telling other guys nah I got a man ..just so I dnt have to explain to them wat it is wit us ..nd make em think they still have a chance in comin in between for them to get their put in's ..cause there's no coming in between now . ..
Siqned - ℓadyℓaviish
ℓove `& Rap ♡
Just expressing thoughts ...
I don't know how to explain that feeling wen ur hands touch mine ..nd when u hold tightly ..its something I feel in my gut ..its a good thing though ..lol ..before anything the flows thing is what I was doing ..with those guys it neva started off with a friend thing ..it was straight let's talk "like that." So the beauty of this was just the focus we had on music ..& how cool u was" ..Always had "options" to see who fit that place of being with me ..I was up to like 3 niggas nd feeling u ..I lost focus on them .. Wen it came down to one I was dying for an excuse to just drop him (lmao) he wud just ask me out nd I wud change the subject .. Lol ..idk where these feelings came from but I guess the attraction was just there .. Wen it comes to you ..I don't think abt having any options..I just can't do it with you .. I feel as if I'm already commited to you in some werid way.. I've gotton into the habit in telling other guys nah I got a man ..just so I dnt have to explain to them wat it is wit us ..nd make em think they still have a chance in comin in between for them to get their put in's ..cause there's no coming in between now . ..
Siqned - ℓadyℓaviish
ℓove `& Rap ♡
Just expressing thoughts ...
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