striped in half

I'm stripped in half abt to sides of me that constantly contridict eachother ..
Apart of me wants a relationship , apart me wanna just have flows nd have fun nd another part of me just wants to be single nd be greedy enjoying me nd making my money ..I'm so werid that wen I see couples together I'm like dahm nd want that but wen I do have it then it feels werid nd at times end up not wanting it ..I'm so werid like that nd don't know why smh ..I remember wit my ex it felt regular in the relationship but apart of me didn't rlly wanna be in it cause it felt mad werid for the fact that most of my life I neva did relationships nd if I did ..never passed a month in em smh ..then after breaking up with him , I wanted him back smh ..its like I didn't know what exactly I wanted ..but I do pass my days wondering how it wud feel like to be loved by ONE person ..to be the only ONE ..so used to talking to guys who talk to more flows but either I'm not good enuff to settle wit or they not good enuff for me to settle with nd its a BLOW .. (smh) but then comes times where idc ..cause I rlly don't like to sleep on guys I talk too ..I let it be nd let it flow ..whateva happens , happens ..cause whatevers meant to be , if its supposed to be it WILL happen ..

desires

So I stay having these desires to look a certain way .. Its like a craving for food u think about until you've got it ..well its the same for me ..I'm dying to have the image of me pictured vividly in my mind , that's why I don't understand why some girls don't like to get dolled up ..getting all beautified is so fun nd intresting to me ..I love looking pretty , nails done , hair done , alil makeup here nd there sometimes , smelling good all purfumed nd shet , fresh out the shower clean from head to toe like what girl wudnt love that ? ..its a waste to just see a gurl stink ,hair fcked up nd not fixed up ..it just annoys me ..lml makes me wanna fix her up ..like why wouldn't you care abt urself ..everyone has their bad days but sheesh c'mon now ..lml ..I wanna paint my nails this time on some bumble gum pink type shit ..like I look at all the celebrity styles ..I take little details from different artists , I don't steal a whole full style off one ..I mixed it up all together ..I want like a long crazy curly weave that stands out , gold jewelry nd all ..cause the silver jewelry is really not my thang ..lml .. But I cud work wit it once in a blue ..if I get this money ..I'm going off wen It comes to shopping ..once I start is a rapp for that..lol enyways off this

mad desprate lmao

I'm sorry it kills me reading tweets or bbm status of girls talkin abt I need sum ..or I need that lovin or this ,that nd the 3rd STFU lmao like rlly ? I understand when ur ugly nd its hard to get attention but is it really called for to express ur deprate needs out in public ..like atleast keep that on the low ..you can still smile nd think to yaself w.e thoughts you wanna think that noone can read nd that way noone can label you as shit cause they don't know nothing abt you ..it really is better that way thou ..lml ..

heading back..

So I'm jus getting back from the meeting it was okay ..the guy speaking was kool nd funny .he talked just like that guy from home alone who played the bum nd his head got burned in fire lmao , idk what it is but I love those accents ..sumtimes I wish I kan talk like that at times you kno for the fun of it nd stuff ..lml enyways another meeting 2moro this time I dnt have to go all the way downtown thanks god ..no affence but there were so many werid nd geeky looking kids in there ..some boy in braids kept looking back at me mad times ..I starred from the corner of my eye ofcourse where I catch shit lol , nd some tall spanish boy wit long hair but had braces -_- I had a feeling he was some what intrested wen I seen him look bak a few times to ..I was like ooo man ..lml ..at the end of the training he started talking to me out of nowhere askin wat I thought of it ..nd if I liked it ..from then he asked my name , where I'm from nd that he lives by my way ...I was like fck I shudve sed I lived in queens or sum shit ..nd not being mean but I rlly didn't wanna go home wit anyone ..so I dipped it b4 they can find me ..lmao ..I noe ima baddd girl ..lol but idc
Right now I'm like SUPER hungry , I shudve neva left the crib without eating -.- ima domolish my meal wen I get home nd I've been feeenin to eat some mangu ..I think ima make that in the a.m .. -- 11:55pm

omw downtown

So I'm omw downtown heading to this orientation , I rlly hope this shit dosent put me to sleep -_- I hope this buisness shit isn't a scam ..I only stood apart of it cause the guy spoke nd came to meet my moms abt it but other then that I aint sleepin on this ..nd sheesh niggas in my face like I'm a dahm television show , smh shit is mad annoying smfh ..nd now I noe honeybunn( my besty) is pissed taking a long as trip for no reason ..not puttin no imfo out there but yea ..dnt really feel like writing anymore ..feel more like thinking so to be contiued ... 7:17 pm ..

dat gut -_-

i got alil more weight to lose : )

soooooooooooooooo............

ive decided to not make a new blogspot
im sticking to this one

at alex brib on his laptop but this nigga fell asleep -_-

lol w.e tho im abt to be off this & walk home ..i gotta shit & feel like throwing up :/

ttyl _2;17 a.m


siqned LadyLaviish _x