Need time to get myself together

P.s: will be back soon 

Don't miss me , too much : )   

My heart right now feels like a pile of shit because I have a bad stomach feeling abt something that has happened to me before that I'm trying to prevent & this time I cannot let it happen !

P. S - a real girl leaves before she is left .

bittersweet "/

i dnt want momerable moments that are bitter_sweet
i wanna real mature man on top of his A game that can swipe me off my feet
i want him to be a black serious man in christ & can show me the word
good enough in terms that is explained well in how the word is heard
i wanna man that wouldn't wanna see me move a finger
my thoughts abt a man like that in this world in mind linger
a man with compassion no trouble , nor hate
a man that i can say he's mine on a first date
a man that saids all i have to do is wake & hes got it from there
a man who doesn't talk abt it abt shows that he cares
that surprises me out the blue with breath taking actions
who dosen't care abt these silly quick & easy satisfactions
a man who doesn't swear money is the god of all
a man strongly built ,smelling good, handsome & tall
some nice patient & kind
someone i can truely faithfully fall inlove with to take over my mind


fantashia - bittersweet

I wanna go back to that girl I once was ... None stop reading books for fun, loved school, actually studied for my weekly spelling tests.. Helped my mom alot .. Had my mind on no wonderings abt sins of the world as much as now .. When I used to think Boys had cuddies nd didn't have to think so much abt them or stress em .. Or when the only problems that existed in ur worldly mind was the dificulty of choosing crayon colors.. When all I would do is sit nd do nothing but draw all day on nd on .. When coloring the coloring books was a routine .. When my heart would glow seeing playgrounds nd playing hopscotch .. The one who would get on her knees nd speak to god for long periods of time every night nd lovedd church so much ..times of goin to Atlanta bake pizzas for fun nd decorate eggs nd play egg hunt on Easter ..When I wouldn't say a single word to a soul because I was always that good quiet little girl with a big heart full of good good good who was bullied nd taken advantage of :/ .. Where is that girl in me ? Idk where she's at I'm lost within myself nd madly desprate to find her .. :( 

Lol

Lol how I had 2dates today nd just doged them like nuffenn.. Lol lately u been curvin niggas idk why like I dnt be wanting to talk to nobody like I'm jus chillenn right now.. There's Noone that's makes me wanna be like ok let's settle .. Maybe for Trevor I wyd but we would have to chill more nd shet for all lat so .. Idkk .. Nd FINALLy I sent that stupid phoneeee nd hopefully now u get my new one , freshhh bbm buddies back on that bbm flowww :D
I miss my blackberryy :/ .. I need a job -.- enyways Ima live life nd let it play itself out not push or rush enything but let it fall the way it's meant to be layed out . 

My secret

So I told shenee nd idk wth I was so nervous abt turns out she been facing the same things I been going through but kept to herself I felt so comfortable with her that Im good Money right now :) yay me ! Tried telling Joshua but I cudnt so is ova for dat Ima just stay wit that nd keep it with shenee besides shenee's a really good friend ..nd I can't wait till we both fly to go to jamacia nd stay at the resort nd etc.... Is gunna be waveyyyyy :) & were planning on joining the navy together to progress in life since the streets nd hoods out hea ain't got shet to offer -.-  

So today was an interesting day went to my bestfriends Diana aka honeybunns house with mercy & henny we laughed Odeee .. Haven't laughed so hard in mad long ..so it went good .. Now there's this issue with my sister nd her wife Nina nd they aren't friends over some dum shit but w.e ..there ain't no real friends in reality... So things been feeling alil werid with him but I let it just be cause hey what can you do you know.. Do nuffenn but leave it as it is..nd Malik stuppidd ass thinks I'm playinn widd him -_- lml .. I miss dat punkass ! 

So this change I'm going through is alil ruff for me.. The only people I feel I can express this to is shenee nd Joshua.. People I feel truely understand me the most.., won't talk out my buisness or judge me

P.s ily guys :-*

so....

im going through something right now..is not nessarily bad ..but its something ive kept to myself ..i hope its what i expect...im nervous abt it but ...idk..lol

TrueLOVE : )

This is all i ask for <3
REALtrueLOVE x3

prom yr of O7 .

I MISS MERCY : /

the famsss : )

who knew ...

dahm so he came like this afternoon to talk to me & i didnt realize how i was treating people ...i guess it became such a habit that i didnt notice it & it became natural to me..but i seriously think im bi-polar -.-


im sorry for those i made feel bad =/

room ideas

so me nd my sista henny are planning on giving our room a BIG change : )
here are some ideas !..but its not exactly like this..me &henny are thinking hott pink & zebra striped !

i keep coughing all crazy..i knt stand this cough attack enymore !!! feels like a fcking shot of itchiness to my throat !

MY own family

must be great having the excitement feeling of having ur own family with the person you love..my cousin has her daughter & is with the guy she loves nd is married..now morena just had her babyshower nd her & scotty look so happy..i mean a new baby on the way has to be exciting..im not trying to say i want one but having so many friends that have them around you makes you wanna have one of your'e own..i mean im dead here talking abt babies & i havent experienced how sex feels...i know that its a good feeling but def not a worth wild type of feeling ..not saying now but ONE day i want to start my own family ...have the feeling of waking up to the man you love & him rubbin ur belly & talking to the baby..the excitement of sharing the moment of when the baby is born..PRICELESS..lml oh well..this was just a random thought

:/

Nothing gets more exciting than talking to the one you love , especially when u see that phone call , instant message,txxt or w.e it may be but than again there's nothing like expecting the highs when u end up on the lows..the funny thing abt it is that you know exactly where it's gonna end up but just cause you miss those times of how u nd that person shared that moment that ur re-living it again just for that moment but soon or later it all changes ..someone new comes in ,or someone else comes in nd down comes the highs for the lows...I dnt understand why us girls stick around.. Like we know for our individual reasons but dnt really know how to stop ourselves from it...so I'm here listening to this depressing music -_________- I mean might as well b4 the sorrow comes ..crazy how you can feel so close to a person ..but yet so far away ...why do I do this to myself ?..I know that I can be better than this than thinking down the way that I do . Smh..feel like I'm keeping him company while it's another person on his mind ..nd is like I feel like me dedicating a love song is giving him a song to think abt someone else.. &i stay because I love him .... But I maintain & pray for the better.. I dnt ask god to give him to me... I ask him to makes things better..so god does his thing nd know who to put me with or make w.e he's gunna make for my better & for his... 

P.s: god makes things for the better..

The best Man IN THE WORLD!!!

ilyyy Daddyy `& i WILL always be daddys Lil girl

OLD PIC

Throw back in dhaa winter

Romeo from Aventura : )

This nigguhh right heaaa can get it : D

Dear effyy

Dear steph, I want u to take this moment to renew  urself  ..come back & find urself for who U truely was..forget abt the curiosity of losing ur "v" .. Forget abt trying new things that aren't exactly good & forget abt it all .. Do got urself.. Keep ur head up nd you.. Dnt settle for less .. Work hard for urself,help ya moms nd fams.. Find that lil girl that used to read books in the summer for fun nd lived to read as much as write ..find that girl that lovedd church so much nd was so close to god that used to even carry her bible .. Go to retreats nd always maintained positive !    

Is gone all wrong

Just seen my pops , nd he showed me something very confidential that involves me, my sister & brother .. The words just said " IF I Die.... Nd after that I went deaf .. All I kept saying was god forbid nd he continued repeating it to me like if there was a secret I didn't know abt.. So I started thinking nd seen how serious his face was he even mentioned how grandma gotta settle something wit him if he goes ... Like fck u tryna say if my grandmother living longer than u if I mentioning we gotta Handel something with her like WTF ! ... As soon as he started talkin abt all that bullshit a bunch of knots started creating a life of it's own in my throat.. Walking to the train I was sucking it in like a soilder trying not to CRy ,holdin them tears back like the craziest battle .. It hit me like the strongest lightning straight in my heart .. Nothing hurts more than thinking abt death coming towards the person you love the most ..I hope there's no secrets behind all that because I swear if Iose my father, I'll lose it all . 

P.s- daddy dnt leave ...

" My sunshine ."

I got sunshine on a cloudy day
As long as I have my lil sunshine, it can be as cloudy as gets & still be alright

Sooo todayyy......

So today wasn't such a happy day for me but it all got better when a good friend of mine took me out to apple bees to eat... Smh I was so full my ass couldn't even have the oreo cookie dough dessert I wanted wit icecreM nd wipcream sheeshhhh! ...so I decided I wanted to ask to work there at apple beez nd they dead interviewed my ass right there nd then.. The manager was a kool dude that just gave me that ling ass stare for maddd long ..I was like oookay nd then he goes oh my bad that his fav song wen usher  came on so that's  why he was quiet for mad long ... I was like ohhhh man doneee ..lmao nd then he had his cousin interview me.. nd He was fine...brolic wit tattos ,dimples & all that..he asked why I was nervous but honestly I think that HE thinks I was nervous cause of him -_- like ahhhh No! ... I just wanted the job..nd my sisters lover works Dere.. So I got a brother in law by my side : ) lol so it wasn't bad alot if cute black guys so I was def feeling it, only bad thing is thAt the girl waitresses sounded like they was hating ova a new girl working there.. Smhh females -_- oh well I just wanna make my bread honestly : ) 

X. Siqnedd ;; effyy  : )

Love my girls!!!

My girls mean everything to me & it's the ones I knew for more than 2 years..like brandy ,isalynn,Diana ,Nani & mercyy ...the closest things I have to me on my block ..there's something abt all these girls that holds it's own indiviual reason for the love I have for them oh nd including mell & kimmy..
Brandy : will stick wit u thru it all no matter what ..a good friend wud bail u outta jail & she wud dead be like nah mah nigga we in this together not caring any concequences ifckin love her
Isalynn:: that pig snorder..lol..who down for fun & is there to here u out wen u need someone to open up to..she's done her side mistakes but nobody's perfect.
Diana::is my sister,friend,means everything to me..she's my other half like another sister/bestfriend I never knew abt..my bestfriend in heart,sister through body & soul
Nani:: we've  had our lil disagreements from time to time but when beef went down she was the first one to be in sight nd be there nd I respect& appreciate her for that.nd I love her as a bestfriend as well. 
Mercy:: is someone we knew forever .. She was always that kook ass down to earth chick unlove with ha boy problems but kool as he'll , kool to talk to & the right one to laugh nd have a good time with.. We've had our ups & downs but we love her .  
kimmy& mell are girls we grew up loving nd growing close to.. Fun to be with nd people you can talk to abt enything .!

What a day

Feeling kinda stressed...skool stressful feel like giving up on everything ...I stopped going to church nd all ,smh but today I had fun with everyone , had my bestfriend diana comeover which meant alot to me...I love the shit outta that gurl nd wud take a bullet for as well as Carlos ..kinda upset but not gunna put it put there due to the fact that people actually read this..lol so ya...today my moms bleewww mineeee,smhhh.!

Ughhh I hate how I'm feeling right
now..it's that kinda thing hard to explain but yea lol
yea glad I finally sent the phone ,ohhhh yesss back on that twitter/bbm/txxt & kalling flowww aaaow.!
&ii spoke to my looser today on the phone..I love Joshua Spanish ass thin voice on the phone lol..is mad cute..lmao
kinda hard going on without talking to him everyday when it's something you've gotten used to..

That niggass the lefty to my right.,nd I trust him moe than eny nigga I Noe besides family
but eny who yea , off this post..maybe on to the next

& all I kan do was cry .....

all I could do was ask why ,
steady tryna hold myself cause big girls don't cry
sitting with a dry look all dead
bloodshot eyes set it off ,thru looks it was enough said
tears racing down without breath cannot talk
glanced at him madly,cudnt look no more so I had to walk
with anger nd rage I slam the door shut
tryna keep up with everything on my chest
he yells for me to come the more I push the elevator button, no rest
he grabs my arm nd pulls me inside
i snatch back my hand away nd walk it off with pride
......to be contours

this happened like last Saturday with my dad...lol

All I can do was cry - beyonce

Dear blog, ....

Dear blog,
    I got a stomache,stuffy nose,nd I keep sneezing ,smhhhh.! & wow for whAt hAppen on facebook , I have no words for...I believed it was unkalled for but is w.e now....stuck on the fact that it went up to 70 comments..the devil has such a way in bringing the worst in people..I was upset to the point of returning the itouch to this person because if it's Gunna be like this then why have it?...but enyways...headphones to my ears with music dragging me into another world..all I see in my mind is confusion...my heart lost..I Noe what I care for more nd who I like or love 
More, def not confused abt that...but sometimes there was a turnoff button for feelings or something...

P.s-Neva gave myself to another the wAy I gave me to yu ... - Rihanna 

Feeling some type of way

So i'm feeling some type dif way ... This is the part where I hate it the most deadass...me nd my own bestfriend cj are growing apart nd he thought since I reached 20 I wudnt wanna talk to him & he knows how much I love him nd wud take a fckin bullet for his ass....only actions can show for what I can do for him...lately he's been pushing me away & believe it or not it hurts ,cj is a huge part of my life..like I deadass write this with my eyes watering..he lifted me wen I never had money,always treated me like someone important that meant alot to me... Right now I feel like some pussy cuss now I'm really shedding tears which proves real love I have towards him..nd his mom has been a hugeeee blessing in my life..she's been like another mother I never had...her cooking is inspirational lol .. She's Kool down to earth nd awesome nd I love her kids nd her husband June is a great fAther to Carlos nd she's a super awesome mom.! Ilyy cj even though you've forgot me nd regardless I'll always be there.  

P.s-Ima kick ya ass ! 

Everything is everything - lauryn hill.   
This song thru my understanding leaves me believing thAT in life matters because if it didn't how can the world go round ? How would this world function nd do what it does .  

Uh huh hmm mm

Notice how being stopped by people then being joined into a topic can pull u onto something not worth being put in,  like we all know that Everyone talks shit but I've learned that just buy a couple of things you probably didn't notice you said or didn't even say can get you into some Shit for no reason...so from preventing my name in peoples mouths have to deal wit negAtive things my words to them trying to catch me up in drAma All I sAy is ohhh ok, oh wow, uh huh, hmm nd dAts it. - effyy.!

Thug in my life .

Thug in my life - wen I met shellz
Everytime I hear this song I think about this guy I met two summers ago who's jamaican with long hair , had one of those jamacian color brackets around his neck tha they use in their country..I met him on cvs pharmacy where he used to work with my uncle..I don't know what it was about him but he gave me th butterfly feeling..he had this thug walk ,smelled good,had beautiful hair,nd his smile set it all off..we used to go around the block back nd fourth just tAlking..i remember how we couldn't be together because he was going away to college, but still comes around to visit every summer nd even thou we cudnt be together he still come holla when he needs me...he's that thug in my life <3

FOODDDDDD ! I LOVEEEEEE FOOOOD !

it times like this wen ur hngry yu eat ENYTHING...
i loveeee..........
chinese food
spanish food, sunbways,pizza,pattys,chicken,cheese fries..i love it alll : )

what is wit with these boys

these boy always wanna turn something on the gurrl..makin us actually think nd believe as if we did something `& then u try to make it work after that but its like WHAT FOR? they dnt try cause most of them dnt give 2 shitss

` & this was a just quick thougght .lml

" The Cutest Lil thang."

"My boo shellz x3."

one gurl that without knowing me stood up for me !, `& has the sweestest lil heart that anyone can know . such a sweetheart , is times like these wen u need a good friend like her : )

lol

somethinqq i did madd llonqq agoo..lml

where'sss my babyy ?

black, caramel skinned, tatoos , brolic arms , swagg that swipes me off my feet ,funny , outstanding personality.., knows how to dress , pants alil bit low ,works got something goin for himself..noes how to carry himself well ,wheresss dat guy for me ..the one that can shake the shit outta be grab me up when he mad nd then kiss the crap outta me afterwards ..wheres that REAL thuglovee that i want!someonee that can handel a gurl like me..wit my upss nd downss..who can possible handel my little jealousy moments or wen i wanna be the boss at times ,the one who ALWAYS wanna watch chick flicks nd madea..wit me..someone that's layed back, down to earth..i wanna be able to share my deepest secrets with that someone...someone .....just that SOMEONE...i dnt ask for muchh , jus someone to swipe me off my feet wit all the personality traits i likeeee : ) or atleast close to it.

" I'M not afraid ."

i aint afraid to take a stand , im a young woman, my own mind, my own decisions ,lead my own path way . - Effyy !

shesssh .!

so yesterday was something thats abt what i cann say.. had alil fight wit my pops , had everyone cominn at me, it was kinda like one of those days wenn theres this one thing that makes u cry but everything you've had on ur mind makes u cry all with it all together..im not really one of those that cry but is something abt my father that makes me emotionally the way iam..its a daddy nd daughter thing i guess..he gets me mad for the moment..i start yelling saying things i dont mean..nd saying fck him nd all that but at the end of it all...i loveeee him like no other in the world..nd my heart would break if ilost em ' ..i loveee my dad to death `& i wud do enything for him..nd loveee to have a husband thats just like my dad to feel closer to him..even tho b4 we went to jersey everything went badd i know he loves me nd cares for him..i can tell it hurts him to see tears run down my facee so he just walks away nd at the end of it tells me he loves me nd that he sorry but not to make em go thru it again....so man b ad dreams ive had of him dying nd thats my biggest fear..i cant lose him..hes my everything..nd iam daddys 1st little girl : )


ii loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you Daddyy .!

DIARY OF MAD BLACK WOMAN

"nothing wronqq witt sheddin a couplee of tearss , it cleanses the soul."

*sighh*

heaa at brandys housee `& itsz 4;59a.m , im tiredd as hell ..nd stil havent got no sleeep `& im heaa wtchinn the diary of a mad black womann ...i have random thoughts just crossing my mindd ..kinda sad that roy is movinn , hes suchh a good riendd ours `& all =/ ..but i guess everyonee gotaa move along at some pointt..my wevee is dead itchinn rightt noww ..lol ..all i keep thinkin abt is how sunday is gunna go..i dnt understand whyy lexa gotta go but lets see how this goess...i still dnt noe where to go..i just hopee it goess well .

#dont judge me!

`so im intrested in old time music such as etta james, bill withers, luther van dross,sam cooke ..nd etc...lol



BUT I REALLY REALLY LIKE THIS SONG ...I PICTURED A GUY DOIN THIS TO ME ND I LITTERALLY GOT MY EYES WATERED..=/

I'D RATHER GO BLIND
THIS SONG IS FCKINNNN DEEEEEEEP !


BUT I LIKE THE WAY BEYONCE SINGS IT BETTER..LOL

IN THE MORNING - MARY J.BLIGE

i meant to download mary mary in the morning ..nd then the mary j one downloaded..lol i think it was a sign..i cudnt stop listening to this song cuss i be feeling like this at times

TRUTH IS....

Fantaisha abt to become my new bestie

FREE yourself !

THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE GUYS WHO EVA AT ENY POINT FEEL SOME TYPE OF WAY EVER WIT ME , I AINT HOLDING YHU BACK HOMMIEE : )

today at the gym.

hansome brolic , just way too broliccc lmao =]

" were face to face
but we don't see eye to eye
like fire `& rain
you can drive me insane ."

- Demi lovato `& Joe jonas : )

THIS IS US .

I'm like a sunday morning.
Your like friday night.

i absoultly love it .!

i love what i kan do as a female which is look at myself in the mirror nd have fun wit my face, hair nd clothes ..i love 2 look pretty nd dress cute ..i love the fact that i can fix my hair , do my makeup nd all lat .. love ₮Ø dress clean,cut ,hair did ,look girly nd do my thang as a female ..smell good ,look good with the whole swag package : )

its always abt that time ...

its always abt that time wen we talk forever for the moment time being nd i always wanna bring out what i wanna say but after trying ₮Ø unravel my words ₮Ø you , i ravel them back up b4 it kan get ₮Ø you ..knowing u already know what i wanna say .. my mind is stuckon this huge word ..WHAT IF....
what if we took that chance , but if we took that chance WHAT IF people looked at me different ,WHAT IF it don't work , WHAT IF he decides he wants someone else, WHAt iF he cheats,WHAT If ..nd it runs thru my mind...WHAT IF we took that chance of being a seriouss couple ?

but then my mind comes back down ₮Ø the same .. keeping it the way it is , there are no wonders, no worries,no effects..

but ₮Ø expect what we expect ...

words by isalyn Leyva

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better". You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior.* Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... Even if he has more education or has a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending... Compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships... There is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... Look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.* Keep him in your radar but get to know others. Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: You should know that: You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one. They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts.... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.

fell inlove with wat she wrote nd i didnt even finish reading it all...

written by : ISALYNN LEYVA ![ one on the left ( skinny one )

Relationships...

From a person who doesn't really do relationships i seem to know a lot ..i think that's why i think about majoring as a Psychotherapist because I'm a person who has everyone come to me as a person of advice..like i don't know what it is but i seem to know what to say..and it always comes out better on paper.I never really was in like a REAL relationship..i never really found that REAL thing and if i did i never got it to that level..`& me personally I'm looking at everything now like I'm in NO rush.If it comes to me ima take it if its for me and its not settling for less than what i deserve.

but i promise that when i do get it , I'm going cherish it `& hold on to it for as long as i kan x3

i'm hoping that this picture is a guy `& girl holding hands not 2 guys but my mind perspective in this entry is male `& female x3

my bestfriend Diana x3

This right here is my gorgeous bestfriend Diana , shes 19 in half , puerotrican `& salvadorian , i lover her with all my heart , someone ive been bestfriends with since middle skool.iloveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you honeybunnnnnnnnnn : )

THE bestest tevee shows :D

nd much moreee but toot ired 4 all lat1

a walk to remember - THE BEST MOVIE IN THE WORLD : )

THIS IS ONE MOVIE I KAN NEVER GET TIRED OF WATCHING =]

The bright lights of NEWYORK =]

so beautiful...........

Its those days...

it just be those days when u want that special SOMEONE . x3

Perfection in my Eyes ( doesnt apply to enyone )

All I ever wanted was to be part of your heart,
And for us to be together, to never be apart.

No one else in the world can even compare,
You're perfect and so is this love that we share.

We have so much more than I ever thought we would,
I love you more than I ever thought I could.

I promise to give you all I have to give,
I'll do anything for you as long as I live.

In your eyes I see our present, our future and past,
By the way you look at me I know we will last.

I hope that one day you'll come to realize,
How perfect you are when seen through my eyes.

- Ashley Borden -

A Special World

A special world for you and me
A special bond one cannot see
It wraps us up in its cocoon
And holds us fiercely in its womb.

Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to last.

And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where we belong.

- Sheelagh Lennon -

BLACKBOYS =]

this weekend

so this weekend was fun .. i got money from my pops, had my nails n toes done cuss my friend alexa treated me for my b-day nd bought me mc.donalds at her job..we had mad fun that whole day..she even hooked me nd ha co-worker u..were not together thou but she got us to talk `& shit , idk wat it is abt black guys but i got hype as soon as i saw him ..lol ..i was glad he didnt take my order at mc.donalds i didnt wanna sound like a fatass..nd wen he smiled OMG!lmao i was HIPE !lol he had dat colgate smile goin on !lmfao,enyways so my party was aight , i mean i had fun..kinda upset that theyre shouldve been alot of gurls cuss i OVER invited them jus so the guys would be happy..but enyways mynigga verny wanna throw another 1 ..nd we'll make sure everything turns out better then wt we planning 2 weeks from now...hipe cuss im out to jersey next week wiff my pops =]i love mi daddy more than enything !nd im glad we gunna spend it together !dr parade was aight, shudve went to then heights but fck it i went to sleep ! blah !

days are getting closer....

so the days of my b-day are getting closer =]



AUGUST 7th........

today august 1st ... one down, 6 days more to go!

Virgin Vs Virgin ...

There's always 2 sides to a person...
like an indiviual that full blown version

has an urge at times to experience what its like `& then there's times when u think okay after i do it..then what ? u will just be a non virgin like enyother gurl nd wont stand out as the rare ones anymore and then comes the addiction, the temptation , the risks of pregnacy,and std's thinking oh okay kool i'm losing my virginigty but the other virgin says wait hold up let me not lose my mind and think abt this shit first and not be a fool............ to be continued...

colorful roses : )

so today i seen the MOST beautiful roses that captured my heart , i asked the man how much they were for a dozen of them...he sed 90 dollars..=/

they were so beautiful nd heart trapping `& breath taking <3

they looked like theseee.................

BLOGSPOT videos .com

i need to start talking on videos instead of writing for fun here nd dere...dats a good ass idea =]

my miss MY babyyyyyy :(

My baby needs to come bak

song dedicated to my baby-- ( baby dnt go ) blackberry 8330:'(

can't take my eyes off of you ...

You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like heaven to touch. I wanna
hold you so much. As long last love has
arrived. And I thank God I'm alive. You're
just too good to be true. Can't take my
eyes off you.- laurenhill

i would put his picture up , BUT def not doing that..lol

NIIGGA NAPS! --- grrr !

over the years i walked passed by many females with good hair..the curly , the straight...and looked at myself and thought NAPPY ..nappy to me before was ugly , ugly ,ugly..but over the years i've learned to love my own naturalness ,MY hair i was born with , the hair that is on ME ...i remember i think i was the age of 11 nd i had the only crush on this boy across the street..and i wanted to get all pretty so i grabbed my mothers dark lipstick, nd put pounds of gel on my hair for it to stay down nd it woudn't so i got upset,looked into the mirror nd took a deep breath nd wished nd sed i wish i had less hair because it was way too much for me to handel..so living with my grandmother they permed my hair for the first time..i couldnt stop shaking it nd lookign at it..it was long, healthy nd thick..`& thinking i had Puerto rican hair i used up alot of gel on my head like it wudnt fall out, constantly perming it nd wetting it alot..so as time passed by my hair wud fall out and grew real short nd ruff...so when i got to highskool i wud sumtimes wear my hair out but when it hit 10thnd up i got used to wearing nothing but weaves..but i would wear it the wrong way..so i came across a very good friend named shenee who has a mother that can do hair in harlem nd as she grew up she learned from her mother..i got tired of people talking abt my hair nd how i became very sensitive nd embarrased abt it..i convinced myself into believing that boys would only want me if i had weave on nd not for who i was so..my friend shenee saw how down i always was nd how i would always call her to talk abt it nd she said you noe what ! i wanna help you nd i know i can if we stick to it..so she would start off doing it free nd then i started to see change nd feel good abt myself i started paying her nd by the time it passed like 2 yrs my hair grew back to its normal length nd still growing so all these years of alllll that crap i never think abt looking in the mirror saying i wish i had less hair -_- ...nd i love it for how it is ..nd right abt now im lovinn my nigga napsss fcks watchu heardddd ! ima pass my hands thru the bak of my hair nd cut myself all i want !!!

The sweestest thing ...

idk why but its always lauren hill that makes me feel better

her music
her words
her rythm
her flow
her meaning `& her heart into her music makes it alive
nd thats how the listeners hear it : )

is everything together that makes her awesome !

i love the fact that she respects herself, shes truthful nd upfront wit reality nd so deep in her meaning to music.. wehn im down i swear she makes me feel up there .

laurenhill u got my props all the way =]