Tuh ! Now my moms comes to follow me in the room feeling pity -_- ..now her bumbass boyfriend is back in the house ..smh I knew this shet was gonna happen..idk why I ask suprised at all -_-
Smmfh
Sometimes I feel I write alil too personal on blogspot ..but its so boring to always talk abt just basic stuff ..I like expressing my mind through whateva ..nd ima say wat I feel ..is not like anyone hardly reads this anyways ...
My sista ova there in the room wit her ex bf ..sometimes I don't get her ..the other day she talkin abt how faithful she wanna be to ha man ..nd she ova here wit ha ex all hugged up nd shet ..I mean idc that's her but I see why niggas can't trust females eitha ..but then again she's young ..me nd my sister are like TOTAL complete oposites ..thru eyes I'm viewed as "the good one ." ..nd she's viewed as the bad one ." .. I don't think she's bad ..just more fast then iam nd hardheaded ..like I cried
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
TUH !
So he's on his lil shit posting away ..I kinda did it too but things needed to be said ..idc
Now he claims he didn't do nothing wrong smfh .. Its w.e tho ..THIS is EXACLY why I have flows ..nd I don't allow myself to get too attached ..yea I get boy crazy but boy crazy doesn't mean gettin all heart glued ..I just happen to love the opposite sex that's all .. Didn't even feel like working out today from how cold it was in my room smh ..I'm bak on it 2moro thou
I never thought I would say this but I'm in need of gettin smacked ..like just clear my mind nd all ya know ..I forgot I was still talking to loso too smh ..cut that off too ..fck it cut them all off ..I feel so empty ..I told joshua mannn I'm dolo now
Lmao nigga was like " yea ok" that won't be for long ..I've been dolo since christmas ..its so easy being a gurl ." Lmfao I love that looser yeo .lml ..I truely wudnt know wat to do without him ..he makes me feel better wen I'm down nd keeps it a buck ..god drew me closer to him for a reason ..that's my looser 4 life ..lol ..enyways wrote a funny ass rhyme from how angry I was lastnight ..lol I was laughing at it this morning ..lmao
I felt better this morning .. "He" that mystery guy was on my mind ..ughhh ..he so like rough wit it tho ..(Not like that) ..like he seem like the type that wud treat chu like a odee homeboy ..I mean I knt blame him cause then again he don't know nothing yet but still ..lol ..so lemme give ya alil hint to how he looks ..his hair is blond .. His eyes are blue , his skin is green nd his ears are pink ..lmaooo yea I noe ur like wth !!! That's what ya fckers get for being nosey ..ofcourse I'm not tellin ya !!! *stickin out my tongue * haha :D
Now he claims he didn't do nothing wrong smfh .. Its w.e tho ..THIS is EXACLY why I have flows ..nd I don't allow myself to get too attached ..yea I get boy crazy but boy crazy doesn't mean gettin all heart glued ..I just happen to love the opposite sex that's all .. Didn't even feel like working out today from how cold it was in my room smh ..I'm bak on it 2moro thou
I never thought I would say this but I'm in need of gettin smacked ..like just clear my mind nd all ya know ..I forgot I was still talking to loso too smh ..cut that off too ..fck it cut them all off ..I feel so empty ..I told joshua mannn I'm dolo now
Lmao nigga was like " yea ok" that won't be for long ..I've been dolo since christmas ..its so easy being a gurl ." Lmfao I love that looser yeo .lml ..I truely wudnt know wat to do without him ..he makes me feel better wen I'm down nd keeps it a buck ..god drew me closer to him for a reason ..that's my looser 4 life ..lol ..enyways wrote a funny ass rhyme from how angry I was lastnight ..lol I was laughing at it this morning ..lmao
I felt better this morning .. "He" that mystery guy was on my mind ..ughhh ..he so like rough wit it tho ..(Not like that) ..like he seem like the type that wud treat chu like a odee homeboy ..I mean I knt blame him cause then again he don't know nothing yet but still ..lol ..so lemme give ya alil hint to how he looks ..his hair is blond .. His eyes are blue , his skin is green nd his ears are pink ..lmaooo yea I noe ur like wth !!! That's what ya fckers get for being nosey ..ofcourse I'm not tellin ya !!! *stickin out my tongue * haha :D
dear blogspot,
Who is he tryna fool ?
If he think I'm going to chase him he's stupidly smacked out his own mind ..I'm down to 0 with him like the jets versing the steelers 0 to 23 ... He's on 0 nd ima go to the other team where I can find me better .. Just when my looser joshua had told me give it a chance nd this nd that nd don't play with his heart ..smfh ..nd I clearly said to myself the feeling aint right so I don't wanna go wit it yet which is why I love myself so much cause I don't step my 2 feet into a bucket of mud I'm unsure abt nd on top of the fact that I was unsure ..I was confused because I started thinking about someone that I don't think I shud be thinking abt ..but I just do ..he pops up nd when I try to brush it off nd front like its just a momentarily thing I started realizing it was more then that .. Didn't know how to approach it but neither did I egnore it ..it was alil stronger than anything I felt for any of the guys I was talking to ..nd he wasn't even one of them but as if now I'm relieved ,type upset nd wanna slap that shit outta da otha 1 but more of pat to myself on the back
If he think I'm going to chase him he's stupidly smacked out his own mind ..I'm down to 0 with him like the jets versing the steelers 0 to 23 ... He's on 0 nd ima go to the other team where I can find me better .. Just when my looser joshua had told me give it a chance nd this nd that nd don't play with his heart ..smfh ..nd I clearly said to myself the feeling aint right so I don't wanna go wit it yet which is why I love myself so much cause I don't step my 2 feet into a bucket of mud I'm unsure abt nd on top of the fact that I was unsure ..I was confused because I started thinking about someone that I don't think I shud be thinking abt ..but I just do ..he pops up nd when I try to brush it off nd front like its just a momentarily thing I started realizing it was more then that .. Didn't know how to approach it but neither did I egnore it ..it was alil stronger than anything I felt for any of the guys I was talking to ..nd he wasn't even one of them but as if now I'm relieved ,type upset nd wanna slap that shit outta da otha 1 but more of pat to myself on the back
Sat.22/11
Feels like a sunday ..lol since I stood up alittle while on the phone nd then talking to my cousins abt boys , church ,nd etc ..
God forgive me but franklin is just starting to become REALLY annoying now ..I like him as a friend nd all but to a certain limit ..he's someone I kinda grew up with but wasn't close to like that .. Nd ughh eating this hashbrown was a big mistake cause now I feel like throwing up
So this friday is bebo nd henny's party ..I hope there's no beef or hopefully nothing goes missing cause I'ma be sick dick again
Dahm my whole upper body is odee sore from working out at the gym but that's good though .. So I have this sudden feeling ..nd its not a good one ..I've done let go of charlie , so were friends ..nd I'm abt to do the same with this last one ...something just doesn't feel right or in place ..like people say take a chance ..but how can you take urself into something that you're unsure abt ? Why wud I wanna jump into anything I have to dout ? Why jump into anything at all ?things takes its time ..everything fast and easy never comes good #imjussayin
I don't know abt anyone else but little things to me matter A LOT .. It can determine everything ..so the lil signs that don't sit right with me ..I don't let myself commit to nuffen .. nd on top of that .. Something new has come along ..a new feeling .. I don't wanna talk to much but ..all I know is that ima keep it to myself ..don't wanna spoil or messup how things are supposed to go ..lately this person has been on my mind nd I stay asking myself if he's even supposed to be there (to be continued )..believe me when I say I didn't see it coming ..it all seemed like a friend thing ..well at first ..nd then all these feelings came out of nowhere ..I'm like wth ..I wasn't paying to much mind to it at first but then as I started to see that person more things changed ..like I'm a werid girl ..I can be with the person chillin wit em nd I'm like ..okay I don't like em like I thought I did but then as soon as I leave nd like 2 days pass by that feeling is back again ..me nd my cousin was talking abt it lastnight laughing nd shet ..I constantly ask myself how could this come abt ?..it just strikes me how things happen ..you believe you gonna be with a certain person nd u end up feeling nd being in a different position then what you thought ..I be tryna egnore it ,tryna dubb it on some wateva shet but its just there like an annoying bee ..I'm not saying the feelings annoying but when u try to get rid of it nd shake it aint shit u cud do abt it , its just there ..nd either take it nd do something wit it ..or keep egnoring it ..I don't know what to quite do ..but when ur cool with someone you don't wanna fck that up feel me ..like I fear of it changing how cool we are , or fear of how wen a guy knows u feeling him they take advantage in the wrong ways or u get deaded nd so many other reasons that come along widd it nd abt telling em ? I'm not witt it ..lmao ..atleast not now ...guess I met em for ah reason nd only time can tell ..only person who I've talked abt this person so far been joshua , my besty,my sister, erika (my diary) nd that's it ..I think ..lol I had to tell someone ..it was driving me nutsss !! Lml ..even when I had other guys I would talk to ..I sed I would drop them all for him ..wen I told joshua he was like "wow" amazing ..this must be a special one ..lol ..I was like I guess idk..lml
I wouldn't say special yet ..cause I haven't got to know him like I want to ..I just know what he is ..nd alil imfo but not much ..lol
::ladylaviish ::
God forgive me but franklin is just starting to become REALLY annoying now ..I like him as a friend nd all but to a certain limit ..he's someone I kinda grew up with but wasn't close to like that .. Nd ughh eating this hashbrown was a big mistake cause now I feel like throwing up
So this friday is bebo nd henny's party ..I hope there's no beef or hopefully nothing goes missing cause I'ma be sick dick again
Dahm my whole upper body is odee sore from working out at the gym but that's good though .. So I have this sudden feeling ..nd its not a good one ..I've done let go of charlie , so were friends ..nd I'm abt to do the same with this last one ...something just doesn't feel right or in place ..like people say take a chance ..but how can you take urself into something that you're unsure abt ? Why wud I wanna jump into anything I have to dout ? Why jump into anything at all ?things takes its time ..everything fast and easy never comes good #imjussayin
I don't know abt anyone else but little things to me matter A LOT .. It can determine everything ..so the lil signs that don't sit right with me ..I don't let myself commit to nuffen .. nd on top of that .. Something new has come along ..a new feeling .. I don't wanna talk to much but ..all I know is that ima keep it to myself ..don't wanna spoil or messup how things are supposed to go ..lately this person has been on my mind nd I stay asking myself if he's even supposed to be there (to be continued )..believe me when I say I didn't see it coming ..it all seemed like a friend thing ..well at first ..nd then all these feelings came out of nowhere ..I'm like wth ..I wasn't paying to much mind to it at first but then as I started to see that person more things changed ..like I'm a werid girl ..I can be with the person chillin wit em nd I'm like ..okay I don't like em like I thought I did but then as soon as I leave nd like 2 days pass by that feeling is back again ..me nd my cousin was talking abt it lastnight laughing nd shet ..I constantly ask myself how could this come abt ?..it just strikes me how things happen ..you believe you gonna be with a certain person nd u end up feeling nd being in a different position then what you thought ..I be tryna egnore it ,tryna dubb it on some wateva shet but its just there like an annoying bee ..I'm not saying the feelings annoying but when u try to get rid of it nd shake it aint shit u cud do abt it , its just there ..nd either take it nd do something wit it ..or keep egnoring it ..I don't know what to quite do ..but when ur cool with someone you don't wanna fck that up feel me ..like I fear of it changing how cool we are , or fear of how wen a guy knows u feeling him they take advantage in the wrong ways or u get deaded nd so many other reasons that come along widd it nd abt telling em ? I'm not witt it ..lmao ..atleast not now ...guess I met em for ah reason nd only time can tell ..only person who I've talked abt this person so far been joshua , my besty,my sister, erika (my diary) nd that's it ..I think ..lol I had to tell someone ..it was driving me nutsss !! Lml ..even when I had other guys I would talk to ..I sed I would drop them all for him ..wen I told joshua he was like "wow" amazing ..this must be a special one ..lol ..I was like I guess idk..lml
I wouldn't say special yet ..cause I haven't got to know him like I want to ..I just know what he is ..nd alil imfo but not much ..lol
::ladylaviish ::
Didn't see it coming...
sumthin lite ...
Didn't see it coming but it strucked me like a lightnin
Wen I was lookin right it took nd a left nd left me frightin
Hit me like a brick straight towards the chest
It Hit hard enough to soften long enough to rest
Didn't see it coming but it strucked me like a lightnin
Wen I was lookin right it took nd a left nd left me frightin
Hit me like a brick straight towards the chest
It Hit hard enough to soften long enough to rest
Thursday, January 20, 2011
drake x jcole
I don't wanna rap abt being freaky , or caring abt nuffen abt money gang nd violence but I wanna be more of a female version of either drake or j.cole ..I just love their voice nd the words in the eir music nd the way it flows along ..idk but I love it : )
Friday, January 14, 2011
like mother , like daughter
many stories between us , but at the end of the day i can't go on without her ily mommy =]
i always.. F A L L for your type ..
what goes up , must always come down but please don't let me fall - B.O.B
Thursday, January 13, 2011
yessss !
okay so i found my sistas ipod..im hea downloading instrumentals so im hipeee =]
havent wrote since the ipod went gone..sheesh finally..so its bak to writing =D
so umm yea lets get it =]
siqned x_LadylaviiSh__
havent wrote since the ipod went gone..sheesh finally..so its bak to writing =D
so umm yea lets get it =]
siqned x_LadylaviiSh__
Dear Blogspot ,
. . .
Can't even write what I rlly wanna write ...ughhh ! Lml
Ima jus keep it to myself or talk to diary (erika) . . .
P.s - wth ??? !!!
Oh em gee ! Smh
So lastnight ..well around 3am ish is what you can say imani friend the one I met wen went to 106 nd park had put his bbm on my phone nd I sed okay cause he seemed kool other then the fact that his lip looks like they smashed it wit a hammer...but enyways he seemed cool nd I was freezin so he allowed me to put my hands into his pocket , I was cold ask fck waitin in line , idk what he thought the connection was ..I wasn't feelin it but I knew he was into me ..like I said us girls just know ! ..sometimes we can't tell as much so sometimes we just play along..let it play itself out nd don't say nothing but trust me we know ..all the body language talkin saids it all ..lml but nah this boy was on some pity stuff abt gettin hurt or not finding dique "a girl like me ." -_- but umm it DEF wasn't workin ..so I kept like fckin it up ..wen he wud ask me ..u want ur soulmate or sum bullshit there .I'd say I dnt believe in soulmates ..or he'll be like have u eva got hurt ..I'd be like yea but I'm over it ..life goes on ..u live nd u learn nd its like he was gettin frustrated nd it was funny lmfao
Then he puts a status talkin abt stef supposed to hit me up -_- as if smh then wen I put I'm going to sleep he hits me up -___- ..nd this crazy ass made up a story saying he got jumped nd he can't stop bleeding nd all this extra shit ..I barely know him but I was type concerned abt that nd then I stop feelin pitty when he started saying I need u hear to hold me nd if I wud come -_- ..I was beginnin to feel like he was lying then he told me wow u wudve let me die in blood nd etc ...nd that I'm a cold gurl nd all this bullshit ..I'm like wtf this nigga on sumthin ..he kept hittin me up on some I hope I didn't lose u as a friend ..I didn't even respond smh ..idk why I haven't even still deleted him ..he acts like a cyko nd in person he seemed mad cool smh ..so yea its def slow for him ...
so today I go back to school ..sheesh mr logan is gonna choke nd drop kick me :(
I'm dum scared lmaooo fck it tho .
Then he puts a status talkin abt stef supposed to hit me up -_- as if smh then wen I put I'm going to sleep he hits me up -___- ..nd this crazy ass made up a story saying he got jumped nd he can't stop bleeding nd all this extra shit ..I barely know him but I was type concerned abt that nd then I stop feelin pitty when he started saying I need u hear to hold me nd if I wud come -_- ..I was beginnin to feel like he was lying then he told me wow u wudve let me die in blood nd etc ...nd that I'm a cold gurl nd all this bullshit ..I'm like wtf this nigga on sumthin ..he kept hittin me up on some I hope I didn't lose u as a friend ..I didn't even respond smh ..idk why I haven't even still deleted him ..he acts like a cyko nd in person he seemed mad cool smh ..so yea its def slow for him ...
so today I go back to school ..sheesh mr logan is gonna choke nd drop kick me :(
I'm dum scared lmaooo fck it tho .
Just woke up ... 12:53pm
Pissed off cause my name is already put into shit nd idk how .. Nd I'm hearing is from my sisters lil ex who's abt to get punched in the mouth if he dnt keep my name out of it ..but anyways that's a whole another different sittuation .. Wokeup nd noone is home ..computa aint even on I can atleast write a song or put up the blogs I write but ima get on as soon as my moms get here thou ..my dad hipe now cause he got an itouch lmfao !
Wow, well I need to get that job nd wow my diet starts today..I'm ready thou to lose the weight ..I've decided 60 pounds would be way to much for me to lose nd I aint tryna be skinny ..still wanna stay thic but with a thin waist figure nd I know I can do it in 2 months ..so maybe like 2to 3 pounds a week ..so u can say I wanna lose around 35 to 40 pounds ..so I wud be around 120 ..this won't be easy but its my first goal that I'm most hipe nd im determined for it .. I think wen I lose this weight I want a short har cut wit blondish streaks ..I don't mean by real hair tho ..I'm do it in a weave to look like I cut my real hair but it rllt won't be tho lml ..for now I want to get me these huge triangle door knockers , some bumble gum color pink lipstick nd the same to match my nails wit a cute double fingered ring , nd I want eyelashes :D ..lml I noe niceee :) I'm lovin it tho ! The image in my head is thumbs up !
Wow, well I need to get that job nd wow my diet starts today..I'm ready thou to lose the weight ..I've decided 60 pounds would be way to much for me to lose nd I aint tryna be skinny ..still wanna stay thic but with a thin waist figure nd I know I can do it in 2 months ..so maybe like 2to 3 pounds a week ..so u can say I wanna lose around 35 to 40 pounds ..so I wud be around 120 ..this won't be easy but its my first goal that I'm most hipe nd im determined for it .. I think wen I lose this weight I want a short har cut wit blondish streaks ..I don't mean by real hair tho ..I'm do it in a weave to look like I cut my real hair but it rllt won't be tho lml ..for now I want to get me these huge triangle door knockers , some bumble gum color pink lipstick nd the same to match my nails wit a cute double fingered ring , nd I want eyelashes :D ..lml I noe niceee :) I'm lovin it tho ! The image in my head is thumbs up !
1;17am
Today the show from the game was on point ..its really good I can't wait till next week .. Shit is getting good ..whoeva doesn't watch it is buggin nd dnt kno what they missin deadass ..now I'm here watching my other show ghosts whispers ..this is my shet :D ..so today I was maccin wit loso(dominican leo ) nd I seen danny too they wild cool nd shet , fcks wit them ...but I dnt see loso like that ..as much as I thought .the friendship thing with us is way better :) but yea enywaysss ..umm yea that hott ass shower was odeee waveyyy ..lol like I needed that ..I don't know what's really good but I been havin constant sleepless nights ..only person that stays up is my looser joshua ..I talk to him about everything..like I trust him odee more then any guy besides my bestfriend cj nd my besty diana nd my diary erika ..he's like my male perspective for anything ..nd I'm the female one ..wen we both need advice we exchange ..lol its pretty cool cause u kno ..its a guys thoughts not a thought of a female like an example of how ju already think ya know. Love that nigga to death :) nd my dad pissed me off today ..he's always saying how he's gonna do want thing nd he does another ..he deadass left me waiting for that phone call ..like I really need him to support me smh ..but its whateva you know ..ima do things myself.. Yo this ghosts wispers shit is crazzzzy moeeee !!! I'm done wit this blog for tonite ...show is too good ..I'm abt to txxt joshua to get on it lmaoooo
Peace :D
Peace :D
when a woman loves...
So I wokeup one morning so emotional ..I don't know what it was ..think it was like last month nd I just stood in bed listening to this song over nd over nd over .layed bak replaying flashbaks in my head that had me relating to this song , I stay asking myself the same freakin questions I stay contridicting myself too all the time .. I tell myself things enough times to believe myself as what I say it is ..is it normal ? Idont know but I do believe is for my best nd when I'm doing better nd taking a step ahead .it comes infront of me to make its self noticed ..but this time .I jumped over it like it was never there ..nd I didn't care
Life told me take a left or a right ..direction determines what ur future holds nd as soon as I took a day at a time to love myself ..I respected myself more It all became easier <3 if I can do it , like I neva thought I wud , then so can u !
Life told me take a left or a right ..direction determines what ur future holds nd as soon as I took a day at a time to love myself ..I respected myself more It all became easier <3 if I can do it , like I neva thought I wud , then so can u !
What I hate
You know what I hate abt certain females ... When a certain guy is tryna get with them or was with them ..so they either fronted on them or cheated on them nd when they see them move on they want him -_- .. I could agree nd admit that I have fronted on guys ,regreted it nd wanted them but neva cheated to then want them to mess up what he wanna have with someone who wouldn't hurt them .. I stay afraid of that with that sometimes wen I talk to certain guys .. Like if a guy had a recent relationship that lasted a long time then I wouldn't get involved wit that for the simple fact that if she wanted him back she wud have better chances of taking him away from where he's at wit me to be back wit her..so selfish how females can be ..lol but its all up to the guy thou lml
Have ur cake nd eat it too...
So someoneeeee had me thinkin abt something they said about having ur cake nd eating it too .. Sheesh ! As niggas dnt akt like they don't want the same -_-
Lol , but being upfront nd honest .. Some females do want there cake nd wanna eat it too ..in my position ..at times I want this guy but also wanna be with the other one too ..wanna be with one ns still chill with the other ..I mean if ur single I see nothing wrong with it as long as kissing ONLY 1 guy n not going furthur than that showing them at the same time to respect you but if ur single it isn't a problem to have ur cake nd eat it too :) ..but me personally when it comes down to someone I fall for hard nd wanna get serious for then I'll drop any other person I was talking to nd make it work for me nd that person ..but most of the time I don't take guys seriously ..for any lil dout or thought I change my mind abt taking them serious ..if a guy gives me a reason to question them ..there's a problem nd I'm NOT gonna take u serious ..I always like to take a step back nd check where I'm walking cause you don't wanna walk to deep in enuff that becomes harder for you to comeout feel me :)
Lol , but being upfront nd honest .. Some females do want there cake nd wanna eat it too ..in my position ..at times I want this guy but also wanna be with the other one too ..wanna be with one ns still chill with the other ..I mean if ur single I see nothing wrong with it as long as kissing ONLY 1 guy n not going furthur than that showing them at the same time to respect you but if ur single it isn't a problem to have ur cake nd eat it too :) ..but me personally when it comes down to someone I fall for hard nd wanna get serious for then I'll drop any other person I was talking to nd make it work for me nd that person ..but most of the time I don't take guys seriously ..for any lil dout or thought I change my mind abt taking them serious ..if a guy gives me a reason to question them ..there's a problem nd I'm NOT gonna take u serious ..I always like to take a step back nd check where I'm walking cause you don't wanna walk to deep in enuff that becomes harder for you to comeout feel me :)
2;44am
So today me nd my friend imani nd her friend (forgot his name ) went to 106`&park ..we dead waited in the cold for an hour ..I kno it doesn't sound like a lot but my hands were turning into brick ice..I had got interviewed for the show call the game nd I cudnt even sign the paper from how cold my hands were (sheesh) ..nd on top of getting interviewed I got toungue tied wen my ex poped up kalling my name ..I was shocked to see him there ..didn't expect to ..but it was kool seeing him .. We then on the show had a good time ..nd my ex is the type of nigga that u kan kall a class clown , like he's just a funny ass nigga period ..like even tho we wasn't made to stay together but I fcks wit him odee as friends ..u kant get mad at him ..he's too funny ..even in visual arts he was always a clown ..lol , but nah some big ass nigga on stage was goin in to some hipe ass song ..nigga had a kangroo pouch going on , lookin like biggiesmalls/ fat albert stompin dum hard in stage like a dahm dinosaur ..wen I seen my ex 's reaction ..I had to keep my head down cus I cudnt hold my laugh..I neva laughed so fckin hard lmfao then a megit started popin her ass up on stage ..I was weakkkk ..lmao ..I had a goodtime tho ..rocxi is beautiful nd terrence is fckin gorgeous !! His butt was in my face nd all I wanted to do was grab it YUMM ! Lol ..nah but he is A HUNNAYYY babyyy shet ! Lml
But other than that today was pretty good , had a good time ..still feelin type sick .. Feel like in the a.m ..ima have a sort throat nd a stuffed nose .. Okay so ..lately noone has been kalling me ever since -.-
Maybe I talk too much -.- or maybe I'm just boring -.- ..lol I don't know ..lml oh well ..fck it tho , still up txxtin my looser ..he tryna go hard talking abt dating a megit nd shit ..lol .. But I started it so ..I shud keep my foot out of my mouth .
But other than that today was pretty good , had a good time ..still feelin type sick .. Feel like in the a.m ..ima have a sort throat nd a stuffed nose .. Okay so ..lately noone has been kalling me ever since -.-
Maybe I talk too much -.- or maybe I'm just boring -.- ..lol I don't know ..lml oh well ..fck it tho , still up txxtin my looser ..he tryna go hard talking abt dating a megit nd shit ..lol .. But I started it so ..I shud keep my foot out of my mouth .
-_-
I don't kno why ppl go in on nicki minaj ..or critize artists in general ..I mean I have b4 but my critism is diff ..like I might say something like she can't act ..nd to a hater they wud say she's fake ..or she's ugly or she's this ,tht nd the 3rd etc ..wen clearly she's not ..like what's the point of all that ? Ur talking hott shit , while she's not giving 3 shits abt wat u saying cause a breath out her mouth is prolly like a million but out the haters out hea talking ur breath out cha mouth dnt mean a dahm thing ..so live life , stfu , stop hating so dahm much nd let's all get along , lifes to short for all lat
5;16am
One day left till the premiere of the game ..I'm DEF looking forward to that , aint nuffen gonna mess up my day to see this :) .. Anyways up cuss on 1 side of my nose is stuffed nd on top of that I'm hott nd I can't stop moving ..but I don't wanna remove the covers either cause it feels werid without it nd I can't fall asleep without being covered , yea I kno its werid but that's how iam nd I'm sure a lot of other people too , I finished sewing my weave on my own ..took a lot of hrs but I did it thou ..u cud tell I was hipe abt it cuss I think I wrote like 4 posts abt it on facebook (lmao) , how fb is going bye bye in march , smh ..I betchu now niggas is gonna go bak to myspace ..smh is slow for that ..I'm not doing nomore internet stuff after that but dahm every 1 left myspace for facebook nd now look -_- smh
Fck it tho .. 2moro , well today basicially I gotta meet some guy at 11:30 am -_- ..for this buisness shet that's getting annoying ..idk why I'm even still in it ..its such a long process just to get ur check like cut the whole extra shet nd give me my dahm money ..dahm smh ..nd then my pops dnt want me going to that weekend trip, he doesn't trust me on it if he aint there plus its a 3 day weekend with people I barely kno so I DEF don't blame him which is why I was tryna get a friend to go but they not tryna pay 190 for it so its slow man smh .. Nd now next week I got some meeting shet wit my cousins to try nd get into the airforce ..my mom doesn't like the idea of me doing the military PERIOD so I don't know ..but its good money nd its doing something in my life ..or my other choice could be going to atlanta , studying out there nd getting my place nd my car which also sounds kool to me as well :) ayyyy man I aint gettin no sleep yeo , I knt sleeeep ..I seriously need to break this habit , this aint good ..nd ima get on my gym shet again ..ima do my best to be dedicated this time but dahm yo I need an ipod , I rlly wish I wudve neva lost alex money otherwise I wudve had that touch right now smh ! I neeeed a job , job hunting this weekend is on my list as well
Fck it tho .. 2moro , well today basicially I gotta meet some guy at 11:30 am -_- ..for this buisness shet that's getting annoying ..idk why I'm even still in it ..its such a long process just to get ur check like cut the whole extra shet nd give me my dahm money ..dahm smh ..nd then my pops dnt want me going to that weekend trip, he doesn't trust me on it if he aint there plus its a 3 day weekend with people I barely kno so I DEF don't blame him which is why I was tryna get a friend to go but they not tryna pay 190 for it so its slow man smh .. Nd now next week I got some meeting shet wit my cousins to try nd get into the airforce ..my mom doesn't like the idea of me doing the military PERIOD so I don't know ..but its good money nd its doing something in my life ..or my other choice could be going to atlanta , studying out there nd getting my place nd my car which also sounds kool to me as well :) ayyyy man I aint gettin no sleep yeo , I knt sleeeep ..I seriously need to break this habit , this aint good ..nd ima get on my gym shet again ..ima do my best to be dedicated this time but dahm yo I need an ipod , I rlly wish I wudve neva lost alex money otherwise I wudve had that touch right now smh ! I neeeed a job , job hunting this weekend is on my list as well
How ..
How is it possible for you to express something you wanna express without actually expressing it? How can something be put out there without it being its actual terms ? Ya kno .. I wish there was like ur own language type shet where noone knows what u truely mean
That wud be awesome <3
(Sighh) disaster !
Today so far is going bad -_-
First I wokeup wild late forgot abt that meeting I had wit that man chris , rushed to get dressed , left the house with these pants that have a broken zipper nd the snap doesn't wanna stay so my front linear of my panties show -_- ..my pops is nowhere to be found nd chris is supposed to speak to him , on top of that this train is takin forever ..it always fckin stays like 3hrs in bedford smfh
My hair is fcked up , haven't found the right time to get my weave did .. I need a perm , my eyebrows are mad hairy ..I just felt like ughh mad ugly..nd on top of that I can't eat enything cause I either start to feel naugeous nd sick nd no it aint cuss I'm pregnant , that I noe for a fact ..but one thing I do noe is that this dahm train betta move -_- I feel like screaming my head inside a pillow right now nd screaming my lungs out to the max ..I had to cancel chillin wit leo ..how is moms was like for me to help him get out of school -_- like I gotta help myself nd worry abt myself getting out then anyone else like he's not even my man u feel me , I wudnt mind giving him advice nd motivating him but that's abt the best I can do right now
He's a great dude tho , you can tell he wuld be a good boyfriend but I'm still iffy abt the relationship thing he told me in his past , I'm just dnt trust that . Nd 2moro I'm supposed to chill wit danny nd them ..like a movie night thing..niggas is gettin a bottle , dominos pizza pies nd all lat ..I mean I'm wit it ! As long as they payin ju already know how it go ..lol
First I wokeup wild late forgot abt that meeting I had wit that man chris , rushed to get dressed , left the house with these pants that have a broken zipper nd the snap doesn't wanna stay so my front linear of my panties show -_- ..my pops is nowhere to be found nd chris is supposed to speak to him , on top of that this train is takin forever ..it always fckin stays like 3hrs in bedford smfh
My hair is fcked up , haven't found the right time to get my weave did .. I need a perm , my eyebrows are mad hairy ..I just felt like ughh mad ugly..nd on top of that I can't eat enything cause I either start to feel naugeous nd sick nd no it aint cuss I'm pregnant , that I noe for a fact ..but one thing I do noe is that this dahm train betta move -_- I feel like screaming my head inside a pillow right now nd screaming my lungs out to the max ..I had to cancel chillin wit leo ..how is moms was like for me to help him get out of school -_- like I gotta help myself nd worry abt myself getting out then anyone else like he's not even my man u feel me , I wudnt mind giving him advice nd motivating him but that's abt the best I can do right now
He's a great dude tho , you can tell he wuld be a good boyfriend but I'm still iffy abt the relationship thing he told me in his past , I'm just dnt trust that . Nd 2moro I'm supposed to chill wit danny nd them ..like a movie night thing..niggas is gettin a bottle , dominos pizza pies nd all lat ..I mean I'm wit it ! As long as they payin ju already know how it go ..lol
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Past is the Past ...
Past is something you can't forget or act like it wasn't there but I've decided you know is a newyear nd I wanted to see new things ..I don't know what 2011 has in stored for me but I wanna live it up the right way , I deleted all these old posts abt my past that has to do wit getting hurt nd etc .. I wanna look at this new year like its a new special day ..brandnew
Thursday, January 6, 2011
jan 6th_
So I just wokeup from staying up on the phone wit this nigga loso ..he really talks different then how he really acts tho ..he wants me to take him serious but I truely don't kno yet..he just looks like that ultimate playa type nd he's askin me to give em that chance to prove he's not that type ..I can't trust guys at all in general ..I just can't ..only guy I can trust is my bestfriend Cj nd I haven't spoken to him in wild long .So we had a good conversation but that can be a put on act ..so let's just see ..nd this other boy leo I was kool wit talking to him until he told me he had recently came out of a relationship 4 months ago but the relationship lasted 2 years -_- then his boy goes 3 years ..I'm like wtf ..oh noo I'm not tryna get into nothing like that ..no sir!
I know how those sittuations can end up
Then there's charlie ..that's my boo ..but I got douts abt him as well ..like I got people on the side I talk to other than him but if we eva got serious it don't look like he'd be faithful ..he seems like the type for me to have around on some "holla if u need me" Type shit ..on some lovers nd friends stuff ..I mean I won't judge but hand jestures are clear enough to read a person lol so ..yea...
I know how those sittuations can end up
Then there's charlie ..that's my boo ..but I got douts abt him as well ..like I got people on the side I talk to other than him but if we eva got serious it don't look like he'd be faithful ..he seems like the type for me to have around on some "holla if u need me" Type shit ..on some lovers nd friends stuff ..I mean I won't judge but hand jestures are clear enough to read a person lol so ..yea...
its deeper than rap
Rap always was intresting part of hiphop to me but neva saw myself into it so much to convert my poetry into rap
Some people take rap as dissing others , rapping abt money,cars nd what they kall "hoes." But to me that's not what raps abt .. What is rap when ur whole life storys nothing but a lie ? What's rap wen there's no feeling nd meaning to everything you say ? What I've learned when it comes to spittin what chu write comes along with feeling , confidence, metaphors, u noe comparisons nd shet ..life facts, u kno REAL shit ..when u tell the truth u get more respect for the real stuff u right that other people can relate too nd even connect to it wheatha they been thru it or not ..I always been that poet girl until someone introduced me to the next step in where I was able to take my talent ... So rap is not just rap..is not cars, big chains nd gettin hipe ..flashin money in videos with chicks shakin ass .. Its deeper than that .. Its deeper than rap ..
Some people take rap as dissing others , rapping abt money,cars nd what they kall "hoes." But to me that's not what raps abt .. What is rap when ur whole life storys nothing but a lie ? What's rap wen there's no feeling nd meaning to everything you say ? What I've learned when it comes to spittin what chu write comes along with feeling , confidence, metaphors, u noe comparisons nd shet ..life facts, u kno REAL shit ..when u tell the truth u get more respect for the real stuff u right that other people can relate too nd even connect to it wheatha they been thru it or not ..I always been that poet girl until someone introduced me to the next step in where I was able to take my talent ... So rap is not just rap..is not cars, big chains nd gettin hipe ..flashin money in videos with chicks shakin ass .. Its deeper than that .. Its deeper than rap ..
up..2:44 am_
Still up , kant sleep idk why .. Didn't go to school what a bad way to start the year rah ? Lol oh well guess wha ? Idc .. I'm so fed up of life itself at this point I'm just not giving a shit abt anything anymore , moms wanna bitch up a storm smh as usual ..I dnt blame her but neither do I wanna hear her ..lol , up in this hott as room wishing someone was up to chat wit me or talk to me on the phone u know .. A phone call would def be nice at this moment especially with these ghosts in this room fckin wit me ..nd yes I live with ghosts ..I hear them at times ..my sister sees them clearly too ..yes I know its crazy .. She has a gift ..I have it alil bit but ur vision for it is stronger ..I'm beyond bored ..
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